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Founder & CEO of I-Ally, a community-driven app for millennial family caregivers.

This issue is a love letter from me, Lucinda Koza, I-Ally’s Founder & CEO, to my team, my advisors, mentors, partners, and every person who has signed up for the platform or subscribed to the newsletter or followed us on social media. To say a lot has happened both within I-Ally and in the world in the past year would be quite an understatement. Here are some key moments below.

‘Social Distancing’ May Have Saved Me From Social Distancing | by Lucinda Koza | I-Ally | Mediummedium.com
Isolation chose me about a year before it became mass…


by Lucinda Koza

I’ve been mumbling for months. I’m not sure exactly when it started but I know it intensified once my dad moved in with us.

It’s gotten to be so bad that even my dad, who has aphasia, has started to say “I can’t hear you” and “I don’t know what you’re saying” and the frustration of the two of us not being able to communicate at all has reduced me to daily piles of prolonged sobs to which my father reacts by walking away, returning to his room.

The loss of ability to speak/be understood felt…


About eighteen months after my dad passed is when the poop hit the fan (pun intended). As a family, my mom, brother, and I were getting into our routine of a life without Ton (the notorious name that I loved to call my dad). We just survived all the holidays, all the firsts, and felt like we could start getting used to the idea of a mom with a new address, a cell phone number no longer assigned to ‘Dad’ in our contacts, and we all believed we were over struggles.

We were wrong.

My mom turned sixty and was…


By Sabrina Johnson

About eighteen months after my dad passed is when the poop hit the fan (pun intended). As a family, my mom, brother, and I were getting into our routine of a life without Ton (the notorious name that I loved to call my dad). We just survived all the holidays, all the firsts, and felt like we could start getting used to the idea of a mom with a new address, a cell phone number no longer assigned to ‘Dad’ in our contacts, and we all believed we were over struggles.

We were wrong.

My mom turned…


…when all of a sudden I forgot how to do something that I had done my entire life; I forgot how to breathe.

Mental Health, a two worded phrase that unfortunately still carries so much stigma. My goal is to continue sharing my struggles to help even one person not feel alone. If you find yourself crying on the floor of a hallway forgetting how to breathe, know, same.

Each member of my paternal side has struggled throughout the years, whether it be alcohol, drugs, mental illness, you name it, and between my dad and his seven siblings, they have struggled with it in one way or another.

I feel like growing up in his house becoming an adult, you had one of…


by Sabrina Johnson

…when all of a sudden I forgot how to do something that I had done my entire life; I forgot how to breathe.

Mental Health, a two worded phrase that unfortunately still carries so much stigma. My goal is to continue sharing my struggles to help even one person not feel alone. If you find yourself crying on the floor of a hallway forgetting how to breathe, know, same.

Each member of my paternal side has struggled throughout the years, whether it be alcohol, drugs, mental illness, you name it, and between my dad and his seven siblings, they have struggled with it in one way or another.

I feel like growing up in his house becoming an adult, you…


The day I found out that I would be a caregiver was when I began to grieve the change we were about to experience. Others do not realize that when you become a caregiver, you are now giving your care to another person, so care needs to be taken from somewhere.

A challenging aspect of ALS is that it takes a long time to be officially diagnosed. Everyone shows their signs and symptoms differently, and the only way to be diagnosed is to rule out a handful of other diseases. My dad struggled for close to two years before he was diagnosed, and by the time of the appointment where he was officially labeled as having ALS, he was in a wheelchair. Weeks before that appointment, all I wanted was to know what was going on and have an idea to plan.


By Sabrina Johnson

The day I found out that I would be a caregiver was when I began to grieve the change we were about to experience. Others do not realize that when you become a caregiver, you are now giving your care to another person, so care needs to be taken from somewhere.

A challenging aspect of ALS is that it takes a long time to be officially diagnosed. Everyone shows their signs and symptoms differently, and the only way to be diagnosed is to rule out a handful of other diseases. My dad struggled for close to two years before he was diagnosed, and by the time of the appointment where he was officially labeled as having ALS, he was in a wheelchair. Weeks before that appointment, all I wanted was to know what was going on and have an idea to plan.


Whenever introducing myself, especially while writing, I always feel like I need to start with a joke, a song, a weird quote, or a lyric of some sort. I do not think I am anyone special enough to be somewhere where I am introducing myself to a platform of strangers. Truth be told, who I am is not who I used to be, and that is worth sharing.

My name is Sabrina; I did not just become a mom six years ago; I also became a Sandwich Caregiver. I have not heard of a term until recently, but it was started by Dorothy Miller, to describe a caregiver taking care of two generations, their children and parents. A sandwich that does not make much sense is super messy and sticky but somehow comes together and works perfectly! I like to think of myself as an ooey-gooey Honey, Banana, Peanut Butter Sandwich.

I had my oldest son, Thor, in 2015, and when he was a two-and-a-half, we found out…


What do you do when you find yourself in a situation where you find yourself parenting your parent? When my dad started to get sick, his role from caregiving to needing care changed quickly, and I found myself in a situation that I was not prepared to be in, which was not taught in school. I found myself in a case where I needed to parent-my-parent, and to do so; I needed to learn things that typical twenty-year-olds do not typically need to know.

Did you know there are different DNRs? Did you know that insurance can pick and choose…

Lucinda Koza

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